Finding Trust
by PerilousPie
Summary: Tag to "The Lost Commander". Even after the battle in the sandstorm, Kanan struggles with the idea of trusting the clone troopers. Ezra helps him, but rather unintentionally.


**Finding Trust**

By PerilousPie

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Synopsis: Tag to "The Lost Commander". Even after the battle in the sandstorm, Kanan struggles with the idea of trusting the clone troopers. Ezra helps him, but rather unintentionally.

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Ezra was enamoured with the clone soldiers, Kanan could see it and he absolutely loathed it. It didn't help that he was battling flashes of memories, pains he'd buried so deep he forgot they were even there.

Eventually he came to terms with the fact that the past was truly the past and he couldn't blame these men for the things he'd struggled with. So they came aboard and though Kanan didn't particularly love the idea he acquiesced. Maybe he could accept their help, but he didn't yet trust them all the way.

A cough caught his attention. Kanan looked over at Ezra, the boy had his hand to his mouth and was doubled over in his seat. Kanan watched in worry as the bout lasted for nearly thirty seconds before Ezra came wheezing up for air.

"You alright?"

They had just moved to the Ghost and the three clones were seated in the docking bay along with Kanan and Ezra. Zeb was holding a conversation with them. Hera and Sabine had headed to the cockpit to keep an eye out and discuss the Phantom's damage.

"M'alright," Ezra said hoarsely.

His breath was labored and Kanan's frown stayed. Ezra stood up and began walking towards the common area, no doubt to escape Kanan, but another coughing fit struck and he was bent over by the force of it. Kanan was on his feet in seconds as the attack went from painful to watch to alarming. Ezra was wheezing, a type of wheezing which sounded less like breathing and more like he was aspirating.

"Ezra?!" Kanan called, placing a hand on Ezra's back.

Ezra tried to wave him off with a weak flap of his hand, but was too focused on trying to breath. He coughed a bit more, hard, hacking coughs and Kanan supported him as he spat out mucus, gasping for breath.

Kanan felt panic teetering in him. Ezra was clutching at him weakly, hands shaking.

"M'fine," Ezra said weakly.

The three clones had taken notice and Rex had made his way over.

"You're a far thing from that boy," he said seriously.

Both Kanan and Ezra looked up at him.

"What do you mean?" Kanan asked.

"You take your helmet off at all?" Rex asked.

Kanan looked to his Padawan and knew the answer from the guilty look on his face.

"No, I mean, just for a bit, I was using the force!" He protested.

The protest was a little too excited and another bout of coughing hit him.

"I was afraid of that," Rex muttered, a concerned frown marring his face.

"Afraid of what?" Kanan said desperately, panicked at the lack of answers and the quickly deteriorating health of his padawan.

"Dust pneumonia," Wolffe answered, having come up behind Rex.

"What?" Kanan said, not understanding.

"During dust storms, like the one your padawan went out in, if your face isn't covered breathing in the dust can have consequences, the dust enters the lungs and it does damage," Rex said in explanation.

Ezra was still struggling with breathing, and Kanan could feel the teenage boy leaning heavily on him. There was a sense of panic that Kanan could sense through the Force and it was worrying him. Ezra did get hurt, but he was quiet and furtive about it and Kanan often found himself having to force the boy to admit to his injuries. Right now though, Ezra was clutching at Kanan for support.

"Ezra! What were you thinking?" Kanan cried out, frustrated but mainly worried.

The coughing was so bad though that Ezra was unable to respond.

"Best get him to the med bay, me, Wolffe and Gregor know how to deal with this sort of thing so long as you have some basic medical supplies your boy will survive."

They took a few steps and Ezra collapsed to a knee, his wheezing so intense he was now struggling to draw in breath. Kanan heard Ezra attempt to say his name before his breathing brought him to both his knees. He was hunched over, a hand pressed over his mouth and the other clutching at Kanan's arm. The panic was now overwhelming and Kanan could feel it pressing on him, both from himself and Ezra. Things were narrowing to a pinpoint and he had no idea what to do to help his padawan who so desperately needed help.

A hand settled on his shoulder, warm and firm, followed by a commanding voice. Kanan stepped back and watched Wolffe sweep his padawan into his arms while Rex placed a guiding hand on his back.

"He'll be alright commander," Rex reassured.

Kanan managed a nod, following them up to the tiny med bay. Wolffe was laying Ezra out and Gregor was beginning to administer to the boy. Kanan felt his chest tight with worry and panic as he listened to Ezra's ragged breaths.

"I've sedated him, he's just gonna struggle more and we don't want him making it worse," Gregor explained with a sympathetic pat on Kanan's shoulder.

Kanan watched the men work, fast efficient and calm. He could feel his own emotions in a mess. Meeting the clones had been a horrible blast to the past and then the near betrayal had culminated into the harrowing battle in the storm. Now this, Kanan closed his eyes, trying to not feel so frazzled. Jedi were supposed to be composed and calm. He made a sorry picture.

"Why don't we sit down?" Rex said.

Kanan felt himself lead out and into the common area, where Rex sat him down and then got a cup of caf. Rex sat opposite of him.

"He's going to be fine," Rex reassured.

"I know," Kanan snapped, immediately regretting it.

Rex had helped, as had his friends, they didn't deserve Kanan's frustrations.

"I'm sorry, I, I make a pretty lousy Jedi and teacher," Kanan said, burying his face in his hands.

"I don't know, I see a pretty capable commander, and a damn good Jedi," Rex was serious, leveling Kanan with a stalwart look.

Kanan glanced up, surprised to hear that.

"I let my student almost die," Kanan argued, "then I lost my composure and couldn't even help him, that isn't exactly what I would call a good teacher or Jedi."

Rex didn't argue back, eyeing Kanan calmly after the outburst. After a few minutes of silence he spoke.

"You know, when I fought alongside General Ahsoka, she was just a padawan," Rex said, tone nostalgic, "she had a master, considered one of the most powerful Jedi masters and known for his calm. I remember one battle, we were on Mandalore as part of the invading force. The Mandalorians were some of the fiercest opponents we'd ever faced and we were sustaining heavy losses. Ahsoka fell under enemy fire, me and my men, we couldn't reach her in time and it was assumed we lost here. I remember the moment it happened, her master, he fell apart. Anger, fear, grief, he tried to keep fighting but it changed everything. I'd never seen a Jedi look like that."

Rex was silent a few moments, eyes distant and haunted with the memories of events from long ago.

"I saw a true Jedi that day, and I respected him all the more for what he experienced and how he reacted. A good commander is a being who is just as fallible as the rest of us."

Rex smiled ruefully and held up his cup.

"Seems I'm outta caf," he said, standing up and heading into the kitchen.

Kanan had no doubt it was to regroup his emotions, and he respectfully let the man alone. Rex returned a few minutes later. A comfortable silence fell and the two worked on their cups of caf. Minutes later, Wolffe came in.

"Gregor's got him stable, it will take a little bit to get his lungs clear and even then, he'll need to take it easy for a while. But, the kid should be just fine."

Rex stood up, slapping Wolffe on the back in greeting. Kanan stood as well, finding that the caf and the talk had calmed him down, but the news had done the most.

"Kid's awake now though and he's already trying to wheedle himself out of the place," Wolffe said, chuckling, before saying to Kanan, "got a good one."

Kanan followed the two back up to the med bay where Ezra was sitting up on the table, a breathing mask arranged on his face and an I.V. hooked up to his arm. He looked pale and haggard but still bright and conscious. As soon as Kanan stepped in, Ezra turned to him. Apparently he'd been trying to bargain his freedom with Gregor.

"Kanan-" Ezra opened his mouth, voice hoarse.

"Not gonna happen," Kanan said, cutting off his padawan, knowing what the kid was going to ask.

Ezra let out a humph and sat back on the bed.

"Traitor," he mumbled under his breath.

The four men laughed at the boy's antics.

"I'll send Zeb up to give you some company," Kanan assured.

"More like a big baby sitter," Ezra shot back.

Kanan raised a brow and the boy shrugged mulishly. Stepping out to let Gregor and Wolffe finish, Kanan started to make his way to talk to Zeb. He stopped, turning to Rex.

"I-," he started to say, rubbing the back of his head, "thanks."

Rex gave a nod.

"Anytime, commander."


End file.
